Life & chaos continue even when I have my rough days.

Thankfully, I am doing much better!

Running is so key for me, & I had a great run yesterday!

I have a half marathon coming up in a few short weeks. Honestly, I haven’t trained as much as I should. This will be the least amount of prep before a half that I have ever done. But, this will be #9. And I know I have it in me. Having that run there on the calendar does so much to push me out the door or on my treadmill. It really does keep me sane.

I do not look like much of an athlete. And I will never win one of the races I enter–it’s pretty unlikely I’ll ever even place in my age group!

But, my body has done some amazing things.

I still barely believe that I have run a marathon. I have conquered a challenge that most people never even face.

Thank you if you thought of me & my struggle the other day.

My depression is a fight that started 20 years ago & I am fairly certain I will fight it for the rest of my life. Today I am just glad that I have running as a weapon in the battle.

Really struggling with the beast called depression today..

No rhyme or reason, there doesn’t have to be bad in my life for me to feel bad.

And I feel so guilty. It prevents me from being a good wife/mom/friend. Which then makes me feel even worse about me.

My kids don’t deserve a sad mom.

It is just not fair.

And times like this it is the hardest to muster up the strength to even think about fighting back. It feels so lonely, yet I don’t want to allow anyone else in… Nobody should have to feel this way, it’s not a feeling I want to share. So, I try to isolate myself. I try to hide from even myself until I feel a little less painful. I try to just get through and hope that tomorrow has some hope.

https://www.momtomany.net/1893/

I always thought I would live forever in my childhood home. Sure, I’d move out for college & a couple years of travel, but then my parents would downsize & I would move back in.

No clue where I thought my siblings would be, but I was always going to live in the house in the woods.

I am pretty sure we’d like that house… It is big enough to fit us.

But, my parents sold that house long before it was time for them to downsize. And we have all moved more than a couple times since then.

And I am not the only one not in Iowa. We all left. In fact, we are scattered clear across the country.

My parents have made it their goal to see each grandkid at least twice a year. But, with 9 grands in 3 different states it’s not always easy. We’d love to go see them more often, but flying 5-6 of us is expensive & we need a rental car, too…

So, this summer they made it out our way for a bit. And then my little brother learned he had training in SanDiego & my parents started making plans to see him & his wife and little girl. And SanDiego is only a few hour’s drive for us so we decided to tag along. *And* my other little brother used to live in SanDiego, too, & his girlfriend is from there.. So, they decided to make the trip, too!

All told there were 13 of us enjoying the sun & cooler weather (cooler for us–at this time of year in PHX we are getting really annoyed with 100+ days).

We checked out a couple museums in Balboa Park, relaxed on the beach, swam, ate, drank & got to know each other. This was the first time that my brother & his family had ever met B & V!

I missed posting these a month ago when school started..

We are on the road again.

Very excited about this little get away. We did a weekend in CA over summer break. We played in the sand and went to Universal Studios.

And we were done with travels… That is, until Nana told us that she was making plans 🙂 One of my brothers is in San Diego doing some training. So, Nana & Papa flew my sister-in-law and niece out to see him. Nana & Papa are meeting us there, too. *And* if that weren’t exciting enough, my other little brother and his girl friend are coming down from San Francisco, too!

This will be the first time my brother & his wife have the chance to meet V & B! Yes, you read that correctly–they have never met my youngest two kids!

School is already in week 4. How did that happen?!?

So far we have had 3 notes about behavior from a teacher, 1 letter from the principal & 1 trip the ER.

Thankfully, I think that they are calming down as the notes have slowed.. And D is healing O.K.

He was playing football before school & was pushed from behind and ended up hitting his head (face) on a wall. This happened on Friday and each day it has looked a little worse, but I think we reached the apex & it’ll start to come around. Another mommy-first was his cut… No stapes or stitches, just glue for this wound.

I know what you really want to know though… How have I been spending *all* of my free time? Well, I wasted a good week or so getting really sick. It started in my sinuses & turned into pneumonia 🙁 The more fun stuff = sewing! I have made 2 weighted blankets for local kids–one with autism, the second with some anxiety. The blankets are supposed to be calming. I also have been running around (literally!) at the Adventure Run. I have been volunteering this season– they pay us in free shoes! I just earned a pair that I will be using for my half marathon in November (training started yesterday).

What have you been up to?