Today Might Just Be the Day...

What happens in the daily life of the family.. the drama of foster care, the adventures of parenting, & pictures to share with everyone!

Trying to Tri

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I probably should just wait at this point to post anything.. But, I have a few minutes so I will sneak in an update.

A couple months ago we had a few friends over and my neighbor brought up a sprint triathlon. I am going to go ahead and blame the beer! I had a few so I thought that a triathlon sounded like a great idea.

Fast forward to now, and I think that I have a trained enough (enough to finish, although it won’t be quick or easy!). But, I am really not very excited. I am just nervous. I have tossed and turned a lot this week. As soon as I lay still my brain starts going through all of the steps I will need to follow and all of the gear I need to prep and pack.

Thanks to an amazing neighbor I have better gear than I could afford. And I know that I will be fine.

But, I am still scared.

Freaked.

I will let you know if I survive.

 

(Oh, and I talked Dan into doing it, too…)

Silly and Sappy

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The other night I talked Bean into letting me put curlers in her hair.

We have tried it in the past, but she’s always wiggled so much that they fell out before her hair dried. And the girl has straight hair! A curling iron barely bends it. This time it was a success. She looked adorable. And she loved the curls. It made me think about when I was little. I loved having my hair curly, too. I also wiggled so much that most of the time at least a few rollers fell out. She never complained, but I also remember not being able to sleep because of the rollers.

Isn’t it worth the hassle though?

 

 

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Who I Run 4

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Today is a special day. It’s not a birthday or an anniversary, but it is special none the less.

September 6th is National Sotos Syndrome Awareness Day!

What is Sotos Syndrome?

“Sotos syndrome is a genetic condition causing physical overgrowth during the first years of life. Children with Sotos syndrome are often taller, heavier, and have larger heads than their peers. Because of the distinctive head shape and size, Sotos syndrome is sometimes called cerebral gigantism. Ironically, this rapid physical development is often accompanied by delayed motor, cognitive and social development. Muscle tone is low, and speech is markedly impaired.” You can read more here.

And why is Sotos Syndrome important to me? Well, I happen to care a lot about a little guy who has Sotos Syndrome. I am a member of a group Who I Run 4. The group is full of thousands of runners and special needs kids and adults. They randomly pair up the runners with the kids and adults. I waited over six months to be paired with my buddy! Now, when I run I think about him.. I think about the challenges he faces and has already overcome in his young life. And, when I get medals, I send them to him!

The group has all sorts of members.. Some runners are just beginning, others are very fast! Some only run for fun, others spend each weekend winning local races.

And the buddies are amazing! There are infants all the way through adults.

It’s really just a chance to make a connection. To get to know someone and cheer them on. The runners push the buddies and the buddies push the runners. It’s pretty freaking cool.

 

11702812_1001083386598598_6545477381712418799_nSpeaking of cool.. This is my buddy! He just turned three a couple weeks ago. He lives across the country from me in Florida, but he pushes me as I run. He also recently started *walking*! The video his mom posted brought me to tears.

And isn’t that smile amazing?

So, I hope that this makes you think a little bit about Sotos Syndrome. And I hope that you will keep my little buddy in your thoughts this week. Maybe you could even run a mile for him, too?

 

 

 

One last thought… The Who I Run 4 group is amazing! But, it also has a massive waiting list! There’s no wait if you are a buddy, but if you are a runner you can expect to wait at least 6 months (worth it!). I would love to see more buddies learn about this organization. So, if you know someone who could use a runner in their corner, please spread the word.

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Once again (or maybe it’s an all the time thing now?) I am struggling… I am fighting depression and my addiction (food). And, while I own the fact that I am the one with the power to fight and I am the one with the issues, I also started thinking about PCOS. And the role that PCOS has in all of this mess. And I got angry. I hate PCOS.
If you don’t know PCOS, or even if you do, you may not realize how much of my life has been impacted by this stupid syndrome.

Here are the top 10 things I hate about PCOS.
10. The treatment options… Birth control pills are really the only things that can help with PCOS. And many of them make me even more insane!
9. Those treatments above? Well, they *only* treat your cycle. They do nothing with the other horrible things that PCOS causes… What are those? Well, keep reading!
8. The acne. I still have acne. It was horrific when I was younger, and has gotten better. But, I never am completely acne free.
7. The hair! I won’t go into too many details, but it’s embarrassing! I wax my chin and my upper lip. It’s expensive and annoying and never gone. Every time I look in a mirror I get some little wispy reminders of the PCOS that has taken over so much of my life.
6. The weight gain. PCOS means that losing weight is harder for me. Gaining it? Really stinking easy!
5. The depression. PCOS can cause depression.
4. The menstrual cycles… I could go on BCP (and likely kill a family member). So, I battle my cycles. Sometimes they come every other week, sometimes every few months… Sometimes they last three to four weeks. I am not over exaggerating or stretching the truth. This is my “normal” and it’s been like this since I was 12.
3. The other pesky side effects that loom in the distance for me. Women with PCOS have a higher risk for heart disease and diabetes.
2. Infertility.
1. All of this combined… PCOS has taken over my life. I never viewed it as a big deal. And many days I can just forget about it. But, the truth is that it has shattered my dreams. I wanted to be a mom for my entire life. I am a mom, but I still mourn the loss of my fertility. Even though I am a mom, I am not the best mom that I could be. I spend a lot of my life fighting these issues listed above. That’s time and energy that I could be using on my marriage and my children and my life. Instead I fight the stupid battles against depression and carbs.

I typed up the rest of this and was thinking about it on a walk this morning and one last thought occurred to me… Sadly, I am actually a lucky one. There are many women out there who are fighting all of the above, but don’t even know the name of their enemy. PCOS is also often undiagnosed. I consider myself lucky to have had doctors who put the pieces together when I was still in high school.

There’s no call to action at the end of this. There’s nothing that can be done. I just ask that you have a little understanding and realize that, while I may be a little crazy, it’s not all my fault 😉

But, if you are interested in learning more (or seeing if I am making this up), here are a few places you can learn more.

PCOS Foundation

PCOS Nutrition (they do sell stuff, but they also have info)

Soul Cysters–info and support for those with PCOS

 

 

https://www.momtomany.net/1984/

FakeBook

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The other day I walked up on a conversation about Facebook.. Really, about how fake we all are in our on-line personalities. And I am, too. Even on here, I guard myself. I try to protect myself and my kids and my husband. I only share bits and pieces. And what I do share tends to be the good, the pretty. Even when I share my struggles, I carefully craft my thoughts. I don’t share the whole story.

And I think there’s some good in that. This blog will likely remain down the road. There’s a (small) chance that my kids will read it. There’s a bigger chance that my parents or husband will read this and could be hurt by something that I say.

However, I started this way back when… when we were in the thick of foster care. And I started it to connect with other people who were foster parents or were considering fostering.

And now I write to connect still.

How can I connect if what I share isn’t real?

I think what I do share is real, but it’s still less than the whole truth.

So, I’m sorry about that.

I hope that if anyone reads this they break free from the fake a little bit… I want to know the real you.

Pay Up

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I am annoyed.

The husband would say that I am always annoyed. And there may be some truth to that.

However, he did agree with me last night.

My current annoyance? Slactivism! If you ever are on the interwebs you have encountered slactivism… It’s the thousands of stupid share of causes and gofundme accounts. It’s the false outrage over something that *literally* had never been discussed by a poster before. It’s the stupid petitions.

Everyone is talking about this lion that died.

And it’s sad.

But, it’s nothing compared to the real problems in the world. Compared to a person being hurt, hunted, killed.. A lion shouldn’t be worth your outrage.

Actually, let me take that back. Go ahead and have a little passion. Go ahead and get angry. Go ahead and rant and share. BUT, then you *must* do more! 

I have a proposal. If you want to care about something I propose that you actually care. I think before you share your cause you should put some skin in the game. You love a politician enough to post about him or her? Before you do, pitch in a little to their campaign or donate some of your time or donate to a cause they stand behind. You want to complain about how little teachers earn? Go ahead! As soon as you donate a little extra. If you are a teacher, then share some resources with your kids’ teachers. Or, write to your local politicians and ask to have property taxes a little higher.

If you want to care about this lion, you may. If you want to post about it, I ask you to donate to some wildlife preservation causes.. 
Originally I was thinking $5 would be a great per post donation requirement. Now I think we could go much lower.. Even a quarter!

I am so tired of everyone having their fake causes. And they are so very fake. Posting about abused dogs and doing nothing in real life is an insult to the dogs you claim to care about.

Go ahead and feel. And then finally do something!

The Positive Side

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adoption-party-073Teaching the class I taught to future foster/adoptive parents, there was one common complaint among my students. Class after class they would tell us that we were too negative. We only shared the hardships of fostering. We only shared the horror stories.adoption-party-030

Now, even though we are no longer fostering, I still try to keep connected to foster and adoptive parents.

And, honestly, so very much of what they share is their hardships, their struggles… It’s hard work. It’s life in the trenches.

I spend a lot of my time still fighting the affects of early childhood trauma. Even though we closed our license years ago, and we are a forever family, those scars remain. More than that, some of the wounds haven’t even healed!

But, today is not the day to dwell on that. Today is a day to celebrate!

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A few months after they moved in with us

The reason we never shared the good in being a foster parent… It’s because it doesn’t need to be spoken. It’s obvious. From the first second you even think about fostering, you can already picture the child you will love. The instant you meet them, you fall in love. The good is so abundant.

Today is the day that our family became a forever family.

After three years in the system our boys were finally ours!

They are the good.

So hard to imagine life without them.. How did we survive before?

It’s Hard!

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One of my favorite little weight loss sayings..

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And it is true!

What they left out in there is that maintenance is nearly impossible! I googled a couple years back and the fact is that the deck is stacked against me. Keeping weight off is virtually impossible. A quick search popped up…

I am one of the ones who has failed. I have failed over and over and over again.

But, I also am one of the success stories. I am not at my lowest weight right now. But, I am also not at my highest. A few years back I dropped over 50 pounds. I have kept at least 25 of that off ever since. Right now I am 46 pounds lighter than my heaviest. I am still obese and I am still fighting the battle. But, I have won. And here is a little photographic proof…

I am going to put this up here and leave it for those days that I need a reminder that I am a loser 😉

Before...

Before…

January of this year.

January of this year.

I think/hope that it’s pretty obvious in just my face.

You are Wrong

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You may think you have the best dad, you may think you picked the best father for your kids. But, you’re wrong!

I picked best. B and I have our issues. Sometimes we struggle at this thing called marriage. But, there is one thing that we are awesome at. We are amazing parents together. We had no clue when we wed that our biggest strength would be our ability to parent together. And B is even more amazing because he took the leap.. he took the risk of parenting foster kids. I tell people that we took the step to foster for selfish reasons, and that is true. But, I was the one pushing us to that path and B let us go. He was brave enough to parent kids who were hurting and hurt and he did a great job. And he continues to be an amazing dad as we face the new challenges of being parents to teenagers and adolescents.

And I like to think that I was so good at picking because I had such a great role model.

My dad is the best!

I could write a book about why he is the best… I think I will save that for another day. Today I will share one thing. A year or two ago he asked me to talk to him about his legacy. He wanted to know how I will remember him. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t speak the words aloud. He means so much to me that thinking of him gone is a little much to talk through. I did write down my thoughts for him.

And my biggest thought was how, even though I am grown, he is still working on being a better father to me.

I am a lucky woman.

Hope you all are enjoying the special men in your lives today, just know that they are not the best in the world. I already have that market cornered.

banddad