The kids went back to school yesterday (good!). But, I forgot to e-mail their teachers (bad). I was going to let them know about the loss so that they could keep me in the loop if any of the kids had any behaviors that were out of the ordinary. Well, with me forgetting, two of the kids brought it up on their own. Which, I think is a good thing. They seem to be able to talk about it. I think that shows that they’re going through the grieving process.
Through being a foster parent and training the PS-MAPP classes for so long, I learned a lot about grief. The kids that are in the system go through a tremendous amount of loss. They go through loss that is so jarring that many of them cannot recover completely. When you read about kids with attachment disorders, those are the kids who never got back to being a kid. I am grateful for what I learned. I think it makes me a better mom and a better person overall. But, as we’re going through this grieving process, I almost wish I didn’t know. Things have been going o.k. for B and his family. But, I am so incredibly worried about what lies ahead.
I think about the holidays and how they will have sadness attached to them from now on… I know that families go through this every.single.day. But, it still makes me sad for my kiddos. I don’t want them to have to think about who is missing. It’s just not fair (true and bad).
Sigh.
Anyhow, I do see some good. The other day the kids and I went to see D’s therapist and we really focused on Grandpa during the session. Afterwards, the therapist sat down with me one-on-one. She said that the reaction she’s seeing from the kids is typical (good) and that it will take them a long time to process everything. I am just so glad that we have her there as a resource. And I am so thankful for our friends and family who have been thinking/praying about and for us. We are not a religious family, but my theory is that a little bit of extra love is *never* a bad thing.
Please, go and hug on your loved ones just a little bit extra for us today!