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But, wait! There’s More!

September 25, 2018 By: Amandacomment

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Warning, this post may very well read like a commercial for Pogo Pass. But, in the middle I hope you like seeing my kiddos & I during our adventures in Tucson this weekend.

With B traveling so much, it’s been me and the kids solo for way too much time! And I think we may all be a little annoyed with each other. I also am a little tired of being the taxi driver for all teenage events–there are an awful lot of them these days & they always go past my bedtime! I also am more than a little of the crazy trouble my boys have found. And I, obviously, am done with friend drama. So, I decided, very last minute, that if Brian was going to be gone, we should be, too!

We found an awesome deal on a hotel in Tucson, and with Ebates, we are getting 7% back, too! And we have our awesome Pogo Passes, so we managed quite the adventure fairly affordably. I am afraid we still spent faster than B could earn, but not by too much.

Friday we drove down and enjoyed a quick night swim and a game of Uno. The kids were willing to put away all electronics for the night, and I don’t think they even missed them too much.

They would only let me take a photo if they got to do a silly one, too.. Somethings don’t change as they get older!

The next day we were up early to head to Oracle, AZ. Growing up in Iowa, I feel like I know *nothing* about Arizona–even though I have lived here longer than anywhere else. It was fun exploring our backyard. We went to Oracle State Park to hike in the morning. We enjoyed spotting all sorts of cacti & bugs. We also saw a couple rabbits & a few lizards.

Then we went in search of food. We managed to find the 1 restaurant in all of the United States that is closed on Saturdays. And then we found another that was open, but I think I missed the boat on this one. My food was amazing, but it was a little too fancy for the kids.

After lunch we headed to Arizona Zipline Adventures.

(Here is where I will insert the commercial for Pogo Pass! Nana & Papa have given our family these passes the last few years for Christmas and we love them! They say that they are usually $100, but I have always seen them for around $40. And they do fundraisers for schools and a referral program.. if you use my link I get $5 credit for next year. The Pogo Pass is sort of like having a membership for a bunch of places.. We easily get way more than is paid by using the passes to go to Tempe Paintball (one free trip a month!). And every summer we go to Sunsplash with our passes (that day alone is almost the full price of the Pogo Pass), plus it gets us into a couple Diamondbacks games, the Zoo, the IDEA Museum.. And, in Tucson, our passes gave us a discount on a zipline pass, free laser tag, & entry to the International Wildlife Museum! I totally think these are a smoking deal!)

At Arizona Zipline Adventures, the boys did a 2 hour zipline tour. It was so cool! Bean firmly passed on this one so I opted to stay grounded with her, but given the chance, I would totally do the zipline in the future! The guides were friendly and helpful. The scenery was beautiful. And the boys all agreed that it was a lot of fun. With our passes, we got a $25 discount for each person.

On the way back to our hotel we stopped at Eegee’s… Eegee’s is a Tucson institution. This was my first time going, but it’s one of those things I have heard everyone rave about. And, I am fairly certain that I could get lynched for saying this at U of A, but we all just thought it was ok.

I crashed early Saturday night because the sun and the wildlife had done me in.. My allergies were a mess and despite reapplying sunscreen 3 times, I was pink.

Sunday we got up and met Bean’s bio-mom for breakfast. She lives in Tucson and always comes up to see Bean, but we are never in that direction. It was so nice to get to see her! She is always so loving and gracious to all of us.

We didn’t keep score, but if we had, she would have won!

After lunch we headed to Golf N’ Stuff… The boys played laser tag, the girls played mini golf. All of those were paid for with our passes! Then the boys opted for go karts and we played at the arcade before we headed out to the International Wildlife Museum.

I truly had no idea what to expect at the Museum… I knew it was animals, so I was sort of envisioning some sort of zoo. Well, it’s pretty much the complete opposite of a zoo! All of the animals, save a couple insects, are dead and stuffed. But, once we got over the shock, it was really stinking cool. It really gave an interesting perspective… so often we see animals from afar, this gave us a chance to be right next to them!

Can’t believe that I am including this one, but it was the favorite animal of the teenage boys… Sigh!

We ended up heading back to Phoenix after that…

It was a bit of a whirlwind and totally last minute, but I think it was also a raging success. All of the kids said “Thank you” more than a couple times and there were lots of hugs and smiles and cuddles. And, it was a 100% drama free weekend!!

Happy to be home and to have been here to collect B from the airport. I am looking forward to having him home a whole 11 days before he’s off on his next adventure.

Let me know if you have questions about the Pogo Pass, or any of our adventures!

 

It’s Really Easy from the Sidelines…

September 18, 2018 By: Amandacomment

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When I was younger, my mom was going through some of the same struggles I am now. Literally. She had a teenager who made some of the same or similar choices to my son. There was lying and hiding and even a little drug use. I remember thinking of what I would do that would fix everything. I remember offering to have him live with me.

But, now I know.. when you are facing it, it’s not easy. It’s not black and white. Never for a second did I doubt my mom’s love for my brothers. And I hope that nobody doubts mine.

Fast forward a few years, when we first got our little Bean, there was a chance to meet her bio-grandma… The only things I knew about her mom were that her mom was a meth addict and that Bean had a different dad than the other kids, but her mom was still married to the dad of the other kids. And I was clinging to the fact that her mom was a user… When I met her grandma, I expected to see the mom of an addict. And I was wrong. I was so incredibly wrong. I met a grandma who could have been my mom or my mother-in-law (they all share the same first name!). She loved her daughter and adored her grandkids. She wanted nothing but the best for them all. And she was making the best choices that she could.

I know that being a foster parent meant automatic judgement. And I am learning that being the parent of a teen who makes stupid choices equals automatic judgement.

What is hard for me, is that I am learning that even the people who I thought knew us, are judging us harshly. And it has really been hurting me. Especially since they have no clue what goes on in our house. They don’t know what consequences our kids have faced. And they haven’t been there with the crisis team. They haven’t been there in the family hugs when we are all hurting so badly.

And I think it’s easier to assume that we must be doing something wrong. I think that if they admit that there is a chance that we aren’t culpable, that they can tell themselves their child will never do anything like that. I think if they can lay blame on something, they can tell themselves that it will never be them. I think that assuming that we aren’t doing our jobs makes it easier to sleep at night. Maybe unconsciously even. I even blame myself at times, surely I have failed at motherhood to have to deal with what we’ve dealt with… And I am sure that there are things that I could have or should have done differently. But, I am also sure that I have done my best. Our family has sought and found resources for mental and behavioral health. We have found a team to support and help our kiddos. And we are just beginning to see progress!

Way back when I was teaching PS-MAPP, I would tell my future foster families that it is so easy to judge the bio-parents. And it is. And it can be easy to hate them. But, if we were judged on our worst day everyday, how would that look? As a teenager, I worked and volunteered, I was a better-than-average student, and I was super involved in my church.. But, I lied to my parents, I drank occasionally, I did all sorts of stupid stuff. And I think that most of us did. Thankfully, we don’t have to wear those bad choices on a shirt every day.

What’s my point? Heck if I know!! I just know that I am hurting. And I know that I don’t deserve that.

Happy Holidays

December 21, 2016 By: Amandacomment

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Christmas 2015

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Cruising away October 2016

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Christmas 2016

I can hardly believe it’s nearly Christmas. And I have so many things to do! I should be wrapping or cleaning or cooking or something. But, I wanted to sit down for a bit. Well, to be honest, I was eating and to eat I sat down and I sat down in front of the computer. And, as we all know, once you sit down it can be really, really, really hard to get back moving.

Anyhow, while I embrace the lazy for a second, I also give myself to think about the past year. And it has flown by! There were some massive hurdles this year.. parenting teenagers is not for the faint of heart! And there have been some massive successes–one of those teenagers has stayed out of trouble for months now!

One of the little guys I used to watch has grown so big that he no longer needs a baby sitter and has moved onto preschool. And my other little dude just became a big brother!

My youngest two are growing like weeds and my teens are my height (& maybe even taller). They all are beautiful (I assure you it’s true, not just the mommy goggles!). And they have these amazing personalities that are so fun to watch.

I keep seeing all over social media how awful 2016 has been and how ready my friends are for it to be over. But, I don’t want anything to rush! I want time to slow down! Maybe even on those really horrible days… Then maybe we can appreciate the good a little more.

Anyhow, the laundry and wrapping and cleaning calls.

Merry Christmas!

Fall Traditions

October 13, 2015 By: Amandacomment

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One of the things that really excited me about our new school district when we moved 5 years ago was the calendar. Our school does a modified year round calendar.

That means a shorter Summer break, but longer breaks in the Fall & Spring.

Which means we get a chance to really enjoy Arizona when it’s pleasant in Arizona. It also means we can travel & not stress about rushing back.

This year we really didn’t travel, but we did what we do when we have the chance… We crammed as much fun in as possible. We went to multiple parks, we met friends at the Science Center, we ate out a million times, we did a day at Amazing Jake’s and a night at Dave & Busters, we slept over & hosted friends, we watched movies at home and at the theater.

As I am typing, we are on the road home from a couple quick days away. Heading home for one of the traditions that I hope my kids will fondly remember. For the last few years we have always had one craft day in the Fall. The last couple have been with our Girl Scout troop, but we had them before our troop, too.

We will make soap and Christmas decorations.. Possibly candles. 

Wish me luck!
Results:

  
Cupcake Ornaments

 
An army of handmade soaps!

  
Jars halfway on their way to being transformed into snowman luminaries.

  
And a part of the cleanup 😉 Dishes, glitter & soap is now coating my kitchen.
But, I think they all had fun!

The Positive Side

July 27, 2015 By: Amandacomment

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adoption-party-073Teaching the class I taught to future foster/adoptive parents, there was one common complaint among my students. Class after class they would tell us that we were too negative. We only shared the hardships of fostering. We only shared the horror stories.adoption-party-030

Now, even though we are no longer fostering, I still try to keep connected to foster and adoptive parents.

And, honestly, so very much of what they share is their hardships, their struggles… It’s hard work. It’s life in the trenches.

I spend a lot of my time still fighting the affects of early childhood trauma. Even though we closed our license years ago, and we are a forever family, those scars remain. More than that, some of the wounds haven’t even healed!

But, today is not the day to dwell on that. Today is a day to celebrate!

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A few months after they moved in with us

The reason we never shared the good in being a foster parent… It’s because it doesn’t need to be spoken. It’s obvious. From the first second you even think about fostering, you can already picture the child you will love. The instant you meet them, you fall in love. The good is so abundant.

Today is the day that our family became a forever family.

After three years in the system our boys were finally ours!

They are the good.

So hard to imagine life without them.. How did we survive before?

2015

February 10, 2015 By: Amandacomment

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So much has happened, but most of it has just been life… The normal busy stuff. The normal day to day, kids, work, friends, sports, school, scouts…

There are huge changes looming on the horizon for us, but nothing that is clear or ready for the masses.

But, we have already started taking on 2015. I ran another half marathon, not quickly! Beanie is days away from cookie season. V & D both have birthdays next week & Dan is already up to his old (bad!) habits at school.

And I, too, am up to my bad habits… I started this post weeks ago & forgot all about it.

In fact, just now I went to get a straw. Seeing the drawer so cluttered, I found 15 things to either toss or donate. Once the crap was out of the way, I saw how dirty the actual drawer was & had to clean that. Ten minutes to grab a straw! That is how my days have been going lately!

Best.Mom.Evah

June 25, 2014 By: Amandacomment

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So, pretty much as soon as I dried my tears & cleaned up after my pity party, I had to ramp it back up again. Sick mama here the last few days.

It is so much easier being sick when your little ones are not so little! Daddy was a totally sweetheart & brought home dinner & roses! And to give you a clue to how bad I felt.. He told me he brought me a gift & I didn’t even get up to investigate. He brought the flowers to me on the couch. I have a good man!

Yesterday the kids enjoyed a nearly full day of video games & relaxing…

And that alone should have had them nominating me as MOTY (Mom of the Year). But, I cannot live with just my illness & laziness pushing me to the top.

So, today I brought them to the trampoline park. You can pass over that MOTY crown now 😉

Loving sharing the role of Baby

June 13, 2014 By: Amandacomment

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I used to worry about having babies around. B & V can both be very jealous. But, the little dude is showing me that B is ok with sharing the role of baby. She does want more hugs & kisses from him than he wants to share, but they make it work.

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Kind of funny because I gave up the baby title at 9. And there were ups and downs, but I remember demanding lots of affection from our little dude, too. I don’t think I scarred him 😉

… She could fade away…

February 12, 2013 By: Amandacomment

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B is doing her homework. She looks at me and says, “I need a snack, I am freakishly hungry.”

Get this girl a Grammy.

Fashionista

January 3, 2013 By: Amandacomment

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20130103-141938.jpg

Here is outfit #3. This was picked out just for the park 🙂

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