So, there is an article that has been floating around my Facebook page. It’s a letter from a stay at home mom to her partner about needing a break.
And it was interesting. Being a SAHM was so different than I imagined. There are still days (more than I care to admit) that I look around and wonder what happened. My plans fall apart, the messes multiply, and a kid pukes ; p
*But*, it’s a good gig. I am so incredibly lucky to have a husband who loves me and provides for all of us. We made a commitment to having a stay at home parent and both value that role.
There are two things I wish I could tell every woman who reads and agrees with that article.
1. This stage is temporary… Little kids are only little for a short period of time. Those days are long and hard and tough. But, they’re limited. I won’t tell you that you will look back and miss them. But, I will tell you that you can and will survive and it’ll be done in the blink of an eye.
In a few blinks of an eye, they’ll be in school full time. Very soon, they won’t want to be in the bathroom with you. And, right after that, they won’t want to admit they know you & won’t even want to be seen with you.
These years aren’t a joke, but they are short. This, too, shall pass!
2. Your husband isn’t the only answer. Yes, SAHP need a break, they need adult conversation, and a life to live. But, those things don’t *have* to come at the expense of your marriage. And your partner isn’t the only one who can fill that need.
Family members can be a huge help. Grandma or Auntie or even a cousin can step up and help. It can be hard to ask, but the answer “yes” is worth that!
No family nearby? Hire some help… Maybe a mother’s helper is the answer, maybe you need a full-on nanny. We had an amazing set of extra hands work with our family for 3 years. She was with the kids 3 afternoons and one evening a week. We were able to have date nights, I could have one on one time with the kids, and I could do laundry without folding around a toddler. It was expensive, but it was worth it.
No cash for that? Trade! Find another mom, trade mornings. Again, it can be hard to ask, but so worth it!
There are other options, too. Look at your church, use the daycare at the gym (you can just take a solo shower! They won’t care!), get creative!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with the working parent jumping in. I loathe when my kids refer to B as their “babysitter”. He’s not, he’s dad. But, he’s a dad who works really hard and needs a break, too.
No matter your role, parenting isn’t for wimps.